In truth, a long distance relationship helps you understand yourself, your boundaries, and the trust you have for your significant other. Trust should not be something you want to test on a continuous basis. The most important part of a long distance relationship is to make small yet significant efforts to stay connected in whichever form, something you can easily take for granted when spending time with one another on a daily basis.
Going the extra mile
“Many things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.”
-Native American Proverb
How human beings choose to pair up can be attributed to many things. The geek in us explains it with hormones and pheromones. The hopeless romantic in us calls it destiny. Whatever be the cause, finding that one person that makes your knees go weak (or trigger the right neurons in the brain) is a daunting task. Some find this person early and some of us have to look long and wide. After all the hard work, once you’ve found this person that makes being ‘off the market’ sound like a good thing, my guess is you want to do what you can to make it work. Sadly sometimes the universe conspires against you and decides to put you and your person (yes I’m cheesy) in different parts of the state, country or even the globe. Now I know that being in a long distance relationship may not be everyone’s cup of tea and everyone you know will tell you that long distance doesn’t work. The internet is filled with “support” and “tips” on how to “try” to make it work so I’m not going to dwell on that, instead I’m going to give you the other side.
Why? Well, because I believe that with a little understanding and some physical restrain, long distance relationships are as rewarding as relationships with a person living close by.
Long distance relationships (I did contemplate calling it LDR but it sounded like a medical disorder) have a bright side as well:
- Independence:Living apart from each other ensures that you have a life outside of your partner. In many traditional relationships (especially in India), women and men take on very specific roles. I have female friends who don’t know how to pay their bills or withdraw money from the bank because their partner usually gets it done. I also have male friends who can’t find a shirt in a pile or switch on a gas stove when their person (yes again) is away for some reason. A long distance relationship makes you self reliant.
We all know those people who are completely submerged in a relationship. They become an extension of their significant other and all their sentences have a “we” in them. These people lose a lot of their individuality and with that, a lot of the qualities that made them your friends.
For couples in long distance relationships this is an unlikely problem because it is pretty difficult to merge with your significant other (to form the “we-being”) when you don’t share the same geographical boundaries.
- More than just physical:Someone once said, “In a long distance relationship your love is tested & doubted every day, but you still prove to each other that it’s worth it. That is what makes the relationship so special.”
Yes, long distance relationships take some effort and, for obvious reasons, your partner is somewhat incapable of physically satisfying you all the time. The survival of the relationship is dependent very largely on the emotional connection between the two. So, if your relationship survives the distance you can be sure it is not just about the sex. - There is so much travel involved. It is amazing:In a long distance relationship, planning a trip is second nature. It may be to the place your partner stays or to a new location all together. Whenever the couple meets, it is holiday time. They go out, they do fun things together, they usually spend all of their time with each other (Sigh).The few days together have the concentrated intensity of the days spent apart.
I know some of you are wondering if it is so amazing, why does it fail so often?
Well it is simple. When there is distance involved, both of you have to be equally and deeply committed to each other and the possibility of a future where you are together. If that isn’t the case, failure is inevitable .The time spent coordinating, the countless ‘I miss you’ statements and everything else has no larger purpose, hence giving the relationship no reason to survive.In truth, a long distance relationship helps you understand yourself, your boundaries, and the trust you have for your significant other. Trust should not be something you want to test on a continuous basis. The most important part of long distance is to make a small yet significant effort to stay connected in which ever form, something you can easily take for granted when spending time with one another on a daily basis.
